Absolutely exhausted

Is how I would currently describe myself. Been tearing up old linoleum. spent 8 hours crawling around on my hands and knees yesterday. Gonna lay the new this afternoon if I can. Then its on to the reinstall carpet, tack strips etc.

Had another music dream. Odd

Been listening to alot of Amy Winehouse, Asobi Seksu, Cansei de Ser Sexy, Electric President and Mansfield.Tya
Gonna go stretch for an hour then hit this damn lino. If Im lucky maybe I'll have the energy for a little basketball tonight.

And the fire closed his eyes

Tipped his flame hat and slipped thru the dire rye.


Dream-
Again with the recurring dream about early America. The odd thing is though the dream was the same dream, my role in it had changed. No longer the observer I was previously. Now a participant in the "action" so to speak. several parts stick out.

This time speaking with an Indian scout about wearing a knife sheath tucked in the shirt over the shoulder and attatching weighted (stones and lead)ties to the end of it so that it could be used in my off hand as a lash and for entangling an opponent. Similar to a bolo.

This time as a child hiding behind a bed with a knife while the native american who was hunting me was lead away by a young woman who kept saying "you are not supposed to be in here" to him. Funny in the past I always observed him running away outside the room after he killed the child. this time I was the child and the killing didnt happen. weird.

Also odd to feel that I become a participant.

I never realized I was only an observer before.

I wonder if this relates to the scalping dream?

"Wrecking" Laura Veirs

Looting the destroyed
Vessels of the sea
I wondered if the waves
Had taken all of me
All of me back
Down to the black
Down to the where the worms reign silent and green
Silent

We can do some wrecking here
Til a little color
Comes into your face
We can do some wrecking here
And find something to love
In this broken place
This broken place

And the king is a hand
And slaps you like a wave
And shackles you down
Bound like an anchored chain in the sand
Sends your ships to the rocks
Sends the keys to the lock of the chain
On your heart
To the mouth of a serpent
And his scaly glass shards

He's holding all the cards
And waiting in the waves
With the poker face
And no trail to trace
No trail to trace

We can do some wrecking here
Til a little color comes into your face
We can do some wrecking here
And find something to love
In this broken place
This broken place

Beneath the stains of time

I guess I am in a funny place right now. Feel out of place. Feel disenchanted. Feel a need to create. Just have desire, no vision. Need a tonic. Need a cure. This ones not working. Maybe just spring fever. I need to do something spontaneous to kill this feeling that I just work all the time.

Pardon me while I curse the old man of the moon and his damn red silken thread.

Li Po
"Departure by Bai Di Cheng (White Imperial City) at Dawn"

In the bright dawn cloud
I left by the Cheng
A thousand li to Jiangling
Only takes a day
And I heard
Incessant cry of monkeys from the banks
My light barge has passed countless folds of hills.

the synchronicity behind deciding to sit outside, some orange flavoured shortbread and the changing of plans...

I was the shadow of the waxwing slain
By the false azure of the windowpane

all fires have to burn alive... to live

500 peices means, 500 float. 1000 people means, 500 don't

If you go down to the swamp today

My seed was cast on shallow soil, and I grew into the thornbush that is burnt beneath the sun.

The wonderful poet Kahlil Gibran is attributed with saying "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Sam Beam said "have you seen Jezebel, she was born to be a woman we could blame."

Sometimes I wonder why my soul doesn't feel strong. I sure as hell don't feel "massive"I know I have the scars, but my soul just feels beat. Perhaps it is because I've always found someone to blame. Like this mythical Jezebel. If I spend more time looking at me perhaps I will find the truth.

"Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth..."-Kahlil Gibran

EVEN NOW IN HEAVEN THERE ARE ANGELS CARRYING SAVAGE WEAPONS

What are you to me?

"Know you not that the light of all the years is shining in your circle?"-Kahlil Gibran

The Great Red Dragon and the Beast from the Sea

some strange tattoo mojo rolling around.

The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed in the Sun

Well, looks like we are looking at june 30th as a tenative date for the wedding. The pastor may push it back. Rae and Ray are definitly excited. Seems awful fast to me. But I guess that I've always been somewhat slow in that regard. Always wanting to dot the t's and cross the I's. Gr. Ellen is marrying her "special friend" as she likes to call him on the 14th. That is this saturday. Ash is singing. She is also planing a new tattoo along her right ribs of stars and spirals similar to the one I am planning. She wants strength and honor and a couple other kanji mixed in. From the way she described it, it sounds pretty cool.

If I take you to the hills, the stars like a movie screen there.

Well, once again having issues/problems sleeping. Awake from 3-4 am for no apparent reason. I guess there has to be one, I just dont see it. Drives me crazy.

To save my life

I have to observe my fiery crash and understand that we are all basicly alone.

tryin' t' crawl up from th' blues

Lets go Drinking, Steal, Cheat and Lie

Rather frustrated at the moment. See, my workout buddies, Jim, Kelly and Dale all decided that they had other places to be during tonight’s workout. Jim had to go to the lake, Kelly had to go to Les Schwab, and Dale had to ride his bike.
Admittedly it is a beautiful day but come on. I am getting tired of people who are only committed when it is convenient. Probably tell them to get in or get out.

Maybe I’ll just pull my own plug.

Molly is a metaphor

curves so comely and sinister

I used to have one of those but she changed her mind

"Then they followed Where the vision led,
And saw their sleeping child Among tigers wild."
-William Blake

Finding the Inner Door which leads to the Hidden Landscape and Winding Road on the long, Shadowed Journey from Ignorance into Truth

without the Religio-Social Disconnects

Dogged truth and dogged lies

It is just a picture of what is left, with instructions on how to dispose of it... "burn away insullation etc." Perhaps it is a statement about measuring the remains to learn about how they were used or misused. I dont know really. Just some wire, nails, can, ruler, and a note.

I felt I owed you an apology, and was feeling concerned you would never get it. Pretty simple really.

The sleeper engages in a tortured conversation with a marionette of Harpo Marx

At least now it has been seen. The apology I mean

Count Backwards To Black

Lost, picking flowers in the woods

Apologies are only as good as their visibility. If they are seen and so far this one has not been. Perhaps sometime later.

TAKE A DRINK OF THAT POISON AND LIKE IT

Yellow on usual red,
comes only
newly carved.
Envy returns newly
earning dread.

He eats alone,
rarely tasting
tart almonds, slowly tamed
Earning deviation
learning is king eternal

Prayer is the yoke.

COLLECTING WHITE MANS METAL...

The conspiracy of technology became apparent today at about 11AM, when I received part of a txt message from 03/31/07 at 1:45 pm. Sadly, it would have made more sense on Saturday. Instead, on Saturday I received a txt message dated 10/16/06 at 5:50 pm, the final word of which was "Somemfortable". Needless to say on Saturday I was somewhat frustrated, confused and perhaps a little rude. I am not sure how the two messages got mixed, or even at this point, if it really makes a difference. Even though it would seem that explanations are never as good as apologies and apologies never really resolve anything or do me any good anyway, for what its worth I'm sorry I was an ass.

"If memory
serves out reason, remember you
are made, a new day arisen"

to find me gone

Consulting Mr. Blake

"If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite."

Attatching meaning to objects that simple don't have any.

Line my canoe with cedar boughs

Not just full of regret but also the quiet resolve of looking forward to whatever's left

black moth super rainbow - "1 2 3 of me"

Bone Poem

Mistakenly forgetting
her,
uncanny ability
as it were
to reach inside
leaving this burning
emptiness

Sickening,
in my belly

Aching,
in my bones

reminding me of my
fear and inability
to face
that moment.

Two substances colliding and cast aside
like the fading memory of a martyr.

The embers of a misunderstood longing
for ritual Tibetan sky burial remain.

From this empty shell
all the hair
cleaned in the heat
of a razors edge
organs removed
the meat pared away
leaving only the bone
to be ground to paste
and mixed with butter…

Let me find peace

Feed me to the sky
Lost in the sound
of angels wings

Carrion butcher
come to me

Devouring...