This time maybe you could...

So, this is it. At the end of today, I get the next two weeks off work. Combinding 3 paid holidays with 5 vacation days and 1 personal day. It was a use it or loose it situation so I don't feel too bad. And things should be pretty slow anyway... Don't know what I will do with myself. Probably watch too many travel shows on PBS and wish I was someplace else. I guess I probably won't be on here much for the next bit...

Ava and Santa

Washed your car

So I woke up this morning with a vivid memory of the dream I was having...

I was swimming in dark water. So dark you couldn't see thru it. There was all kinds of stuff in the water in floating island clumps of mud, peat and debris. an old brown glove made an appearance. The whole time the water was being described like in a discovery channel show. Blah Blah Blah "the bodies in here"... Blah Blah "is called Draytch or Burly water"

And then I woke up.

Later addition
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dreich
Perhaps I misspelled it...

Just for the night

So, a freight company dumped $1200.00 worth of product I was sending to one of my customers... right on the loading dock. Half in the truck and half out the truck when he was picking it up today. To top it off it was special cut stock we order sheeted from the mill specificaly for this customer. 8,500 sheets. Damn.

Scalping

So I had a dream I was being scalped... I was a Native American.

The dream began with me being pinned to the ground by a man. I could feel one knee on my chest and the other on my left arm. He was holding my right arm down with his left. I felt he wanted me to be afraid like my fear would be something he could consume/eat. I told myself I would not scream. And I knew I would be o.k. I could feel the knife scrape its way around the top of my head in about a 5 inch circle directly above my spine. When the hair did not instantly release he slid the knife in between my scalp and my skull from the front to the back and started digging at it in an attempt to remove it. The feeling of the knife scraping against the bone of my skull is something I dont think I will ever forget. Even in the dream it felt very real. He must have taken his trophy or got bored because soon after he just disappeared. I was proud of the fact that I had not showed fear or screamed.

I have had dreams were I was someone else for a years now. I have been male, female, a native american, black, white and several guys that don't look like me. I always somehow feel it is still me. I have even shifted from one appearance to another in the same dream almost like it was a mask or a disguise and I changed appearance to hide.

Can't shake this feeling

You know how sometimes your heart tells you one thing and your brain tells you another? Maybe that is just me but I really hate the confusion it brings. The rational mind says this is the right thing to do. The emotional side tells you it sucks. Who do you listen to? I have recently been part of that decision making process. It was largely dictated by the rational side while coming to some sort of resolution. Now, I just cant shake this nagging feeling that I made the wrong decision. I just doesn't feel right. Somehow I listened to the wrong part of me and made the "right" choice. That it is best for everyone involved, but only strictly on a intellectual level.

moments

I feel like my life is a string of moments. Somehow unique and seperated from one another yet tied together. These moments inexorably slip away. Passing me by. Leaving only space for new moments. I am saddened by the fact that so rarely do my moments actually match up with someone elses. I find myself located in one and them located in another. No common goal or desire and when mine does catch up they have moved on to a new and different space. Some trully feel like missed chances. Others more like regretable mistakes made in an unguarded moment.