Guess What

is playing at the magic lantern?

Are The Bones Of My Sins

Sharp enough
to cut thru my
excuses?

Maybe baby you don't

So, recently I have been thinking about things "I have never eaten a persimmon." for as long as I can remember, I have know Persimmons were a fruit that had to be ripe to eat. But I have never eaten one and had no idea how to eat one or to know if one was ripe. So, in the interest in expanding my palate to include things like Persimmons, Chesnuts, Parsnips etc I will soon be eating my first Persimmon.

http://www.wikihow.com/Eat-a-Persimmon

Now I see myself completly someone else

You know it is really kind of sad. I have been trying to think about the last time I really trully enjoyed a Christmas. A time, any time when I haven't been affected by some sort of deep and hollow sadness. Don't get me wrong, there have been times when I have been absolutely happy. Some more easily remembered than others butI have been on a search, kind of a personal journey so to speak to find out were this overwellming sadness comes from. I have yet to find the source but I do have several ideas... Anyway, these moods have always sort of rode the holidays or any other special event (I don't recall even a trip to the fair that ended well) one might spend with family or friends. It is kind of strange that most of the time I am just blissfully unaware then out of the blue it just hits me.

The ladder of the day I was born...

Her White wings trailing blood, Matt Hansen December 2007

Strange form of life

All I ever get for Christmas
When I was drinking
I gotta have you
I often dream of trains
Truly, Madly, Deeply
Falling slowly
Hell no
In the bleak midwinter
Deadman
They need you if they think you love them

What Lips My Lips Have Kissed

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply;
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in the winter stands a lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet know its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone;
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Your death is always with you and it is the most attractive part of you. When people tell you they love your eyes, Or the way you walk, It is your mortality they're seeing.

Paul Williams

"How Am I Not Myself?"

More joy.
Taking the form of water.
Coming in over my sliding glass door.
I don't really have much to say.
Except.
Tryng to find a leak at 10pm in the wind and the rain and the dark is miserable.
I guess I have a wall to take out.

The search continues.

My black lightening heart circles again...

It is strange how quickly time moves. Well, I guess 'tis the season all over again. Time to get lit up and strung out. And no, I am not talking about Christmas lights. But, I will be squinting at them while I am persuing the afor mentioned activity... bring on the social lubricant. It is time for Christmas on the rocks.

How about a little mood music?

That was the worst christmas ever
Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis
Christmas song
Be my Valentine on Christmas
Christmas eve
Christmas past
I'm on fire

More than this...

I am pretty sure that it is times like last night that convince me that I don't really need anything more than this. I was standing on the back porch sipping a cup of smokey warm tea (Lapsang Souchong to be specific), listening to the quiet of the snow falling while the new Sigur Ros pulsed faintly in the background. It was a beautiful and majestic space of light/dark, warm/cold and quiet/sound that seemed to stretch out in a time out of time. like the world just paused. and as I paused I just drank it in. amazing. quiet. beauty. Is there really any need for more than this?

Sure that I've seen heaven now I hope that I've seen hell

In a funny story about my vacation, one might hear about how I in an unmatched moment of brilliance, poured boiling water over my left hand. Then, to make it even funnier, you might hear how literally seconds later I poured it over the same hand again. which I guess brings me to my point. Why one earth do they put the max fill mark on the outside of the teapot when I am putting the water on the inside and have no possible way of knowing where that tiny line is? See, since teapots rely on air being able to flow into the pot as hot water flows out, if you overfill, when you attempt to pour the water, it completely covers the spout and since it is boiling, forcefully projects itself out of the teapot. This extreme pressure causes the hot water to dramaticly overshoot the intended target, typicaly a cup. or container of some sort and allows it to find purchase on more sensitive tissues. I (much to your humor I am sure) did this not only once, but twice in a row. The amazing thing? While it is true that I did burn myself pretty good, I do not have any blisters are marks at all...? Initially, I treated it like any other burn, with cool water and eventual working to an ice pack. It didn't look to bad at that point, about a 6" diameter bright scarlet mark across the back of my hand. Well, I could feel the top layer of skin getting tight, dry and brittle like it wanted to crack. So off I went to the store to get something to help. I found these analgesic patches that act like a second skin. they trap the skins moisture and fall off when they should. I trully believe these amazing patches saved me alot of pain and suffering. And, my hand has no noticable marks.

A numbers game...

it is really just a numbers game, Mixed, 12.125x16

Funny, it seems like people just stopped posting to the 60ms page. perhaps it is just because of the holidays...

All Night Parties In Cities On Fire

Well, I am taking the next 10 days off. just burning up a little vacation time. The balance will have to roll over to next year most likely. No big plans. Schweitzer doesn't have enough snow to go skiing or snowboarding. Can't snowshoe yet. Maybe I will go to the lake and have a fire. If I am silent don't worry to much... I will try to keep posting to 60ms as much as I can. Oh yeah, I'm in the money in the pool.

I never asked for 10,000 stones

Funny, I am feeling a certain amount of frustration right now.
I broke the print head in the printer last night.
My neighbor was ringing my doorbell at 7am hoping I would go to the store and buy him a halfrack and pay for it. Since I was headed out the door to got to work, I grabbed a 6 out of my fridge and handed it to him. I think I lost out on that one.
At lunch today it took 20 minutes for the deli to make a Reuben.
The dryer in unit C upstairs has gone out.

There is no way of knowing...
Can you make me understand...
In your stone cottage by the sea...
Time can't tell you apart.

Sorry...

I have been a little distracted by Pandora lately. I hope to express myself again soon.

Dying and I quote

"and oh sister now that we're grieving our fingers will falter our lungs will be leaking all over each other and without even speaking we'll know that it's over and smile and go greeting whatever comes next".

would it change you if you knew I was?

You know it is funny, right now, I really just want to find and buy a "Smoking Monkey". I realize that probably makes no sense to anyone but it does to me I guess. Sort of like reliving the diamond days in the bottomland. You know I missed the sweater girl last night. Too bad. Oh well, still looking to find a corner for me.

Wash the wine out - my coffee cup

Funny how things seem to just glide along at no response to my nudging/shoving. Damn I am starting to get impatient.
But then again, maybe I will just make up another excuse.

How did you hear? I was honey.

Man, I think I may still be full. Some of the highlights from the show were pleasant company, some excellent moroccan chicken, a incredible foccocia toped with artichoke hearts, capers and red peppers. But by far the most amazing thing to glide over my tastebuds was "Truffle Tremor"a ripened goat cheese with truffles from Cypress Grove Chevre. Man the stuff was addictive and it helped that those cheeses were off with the micro brews. They also had a pungent blue cheese that I would gladly have anyday of the week. I probably spent a little too much time in there...

Lazily tossing back the last of a jar

Well, I am cutting out of work early to go to the Food Service of America 2007 food show. This should be interesting. I have never been in the new convention center. I think it looks like a boat. Well anyway, I am out of here. Chow.

rope burn slippin thru my fingers

So Friday I had the pleasure of driving the forklift off the loading dock... Yeah I know sounds serious but in reality it was more just frustrating. See, for some reason when I pulled back on the handle to make the forklift go backwards, it went forward. Nice huh? so it took me about 3-4 hours to get reverse to work (cleaning contacts etc.), the lift back onto the dock Involving using an electric pallet jack and multiple pallets to lift the front end of the lift level with the dock (it was high centered), and finally drive it back into the building so I could lock up for the night and leave. The highlight and joy of my weekend right?

the sound of the dispossesed

Well, the week is almost over. Monday I had a temp come. Tuesday I had a different one. Yesterday he was 20 minutes late and today no temp even showed. So I called the personel office and told them to not bother sending one for friday. I wonder what would be the point. He probably wouldn't show any way. I hate it when people say they want the work but then don't do anything to get it or even bother with a phone call if the won't be showing up. And then for some reason they wonder why they can't keep a job.

Your touch is winter

So, my family (most of them anyway) and I have been working on this ongoing art project. I do have to say that I am consistenly impressed with all the things that everyone is posting. Some people are participating more than others and I truely hope that eventually everyone will post something or have something posted for them. I do have to say that I am absolutely enjoying this. Perhaps I am just greedy, but I want more. On the otherside, my friends of 60ms seem to be slacking. only 5 posts so far and one was mine. I suppose I should crack the whip...

The sun and moon have left the sky

Well, It seems like things may be finally settling down. Window fixed. 1 of 2 units rented with a good possible on the other. I just might be able to relax a little. And finally go have that beer I have been thinking about for a while.

Caught in an unguarded moment

Well The rear window of my car is finally being replaced for the sum of $305.93 plus tax and that is a sale price. yes I checked around and yes I feel like I am being screwed.

"sie sagt, daß sie ihren Schädel abschneidet"

Wow, this morning I was standing on the back porch kind of waking up pre dawn/pre coffee and off in the south east sky I could see this brilliant white glow. It was to big to be a star. I believe it was Jupiter. It was brilliant white and appeared to have a faint black spot in the center and it was bigger than I have ever seen it before. Mind you I was just waking up. Makes me wish I had a telescope...

Dark, Muted Tones Painted Wistfully On Torn Canvas

So I had an idea and implemented it creating a way for a family of artists to show each other their art. The idea stemmed in part because for such an artistic family, so few of us create anything on a regular basis. I am trying to help remedy that. I did put a time limit on it. and so far the response has been good. check it out
60 minute siblings

The needle is in the groove and it is wearing thin

The joys of parental visitation are wearing thin...


My mother decided in an attempt to be nice that she would wash my tea pots.



This one was a gift from my brother Mike
It is a beautifully carved dragon.

My Yixing Tea pots are from China.

They are made with special purple clay found only in Yixing province.

The clay is porous and absorbs the essence of the tea,

as a side effect they absorb other flavors as well,

such as any non tea cleaners.

I now have 12 soap flavored Tea pots.

http://www.wikihow.com/Season,-Raise,-and-Take-Care-of-a-New-Yixing-Clay-Teapot

pumpkin-pecan pie with whiskey butter sauce

Ingredients

Pie Crust
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter (1 stick)
3 to 4 tablespoons cold water

Pumpkin Filling
1 cup cooked pumpkin purée
1/4 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
2 tablespoons sugar
1 large egg, beaten until frothy
1 tablespoon heavy cream
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, softened
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Pinch of ground allspice
Pinch of ground nutmeg

Pecan Syrup
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup dark corn syrup
2 small eggs
1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 pinch salt
1 pinch ground cinnamon
3/4 cup pecan pieces

Whiskey Butter Sauce
4 tablespoons unsalted butter (1/2 stick)
1/3 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tablespoon very hot water
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup bourbon whiskey

Preparation

Pie Crust
Combine the flour and salt in a mixing bowl. Add the butter and incorporate with your fingertips until the mixture resembles very coarse cornmeal. Sprinkle the water over the flour mixture in tablespoon increments, stirring continuously with a fork. Form the dough into a ball and chill in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

Pumpkin Filling
Combine all the ingredients thoroughly in a medium bowl; set aside.

Pecan Syrup
Combine all the ingredients thoroughly in a medium bowl; set aside.

Assembly
Preheat the oven to 325°F. Grease an 8-inch springform cake pan.

Roll out the dough on a lightly floured work surface to 3/16 inch. Very lightly flour the top of the dough and fold it into quarters. Carefully place the dough in the greased cake pan. Press firmly in place and trim the edges. Chill for 15 minutes.

Spoon the Pumpkin Filling into the pan, spreading evenly to distribute. Gently pour the Pecan Syrup on top. Bake until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean, about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Cool and serve with Whiskey Butter Sauce.

Whiskey Butter Sauce
Melt the butter in the top of a double boiler set over gently simmering water.

Beat the sugar and egg in a small bowl until blended. Stir the egg mixture into the butter. Add the hot water and stir until the mixture coats the back of a spoon, about 7 minutes. Remove from the double boiler and let cool to room temperature. Stir in the cream and whiskey.

EAT

bottle broken beer wrist

October to do list...

• Play in leaves / rake them later...
• Make/drink hot cider
• Make/drink spiced wine
• Corn maze
• Pick pumpkin/ make pie from scratch
• Carve pumpkin
• Bake pumpkin seeds
• Make costume
• Spooky Dinner
• Multiple Schlerosis Octobrewfest auction
• Evil Dead II and Bubba Hotep at filmfest
• Brats, Beer and Kraut dinner

Vino rojo de la sangre y la muerte de una Rose

Well,
it is finally here,
my favorite time of year.
Waiting for the changing of the leaves
and the crisp air of the night.
I need a nice long walk by the river
Maybe to the "Bowl and Pitcher"
I want to go to the lake
and sit on the porch
drinking beer or coffee or tea
That is after all
My Therapy.
I miss everything
The waves on the shore.
The creak of the dock.
and big drunken fires on the beach
and quiet pensive fires on the beach

I need some time away...

"Denn die Todten reiten Schnell"

Well, we managed to make it thru inventory. We will find out how we did after a bit. I should be able to relax a little but it is only Kelly and I for the next week...
Mom is here for a week. Staying at my place and upstairs in a vacant apartment. Should be interesting.

We've become quiet strangers

Funny, the rucus this damn thing caused.
I always thought it was nice to sing this to you.
At least I was trying to be nice...
For some reason unknown to me it bothered you.
It is a Palauan verse.
As in from Palau.
hopefully this will help it make more sense to you.
And no, I have no idea why I am telling you now.
If you would like more info you could always follow these links...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palau
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ngesang


Ak umibais ra mocha tutau a btuch a obengek.
(I wander close to the early morning, the stars accompany me.)

Ngorakiruu, ea buil a medideruurt el ngara tkul a Ngesang.
(And the full moon is scurrying, to and from, on the outskirts of Ngesang.)

A chelitaki ra irechar amelkio ra renguk.
(The songs of yesterdays are speaking to my soul.)

Ma ikel omeroled a mengitak ‘I ngara medak,
(And the paths we trod are singing in my eyes.)

A finite view of the infinite

Remnant n 63a

You know I'm gonna miss you when I'm gone

Dream: A fairy (yes the little winged kind like tinkerbell) who was apparently mine or attached to me somehow, got lodged in a spiders web and bit. I new I had to help. I took my finger and knocked/flicked it on the butt to get it out from under the web. To prevent it from dying, I sucked the venom out of its back left shoulder. It popped out like some kind of seed. The strange thing is its size just kept adjusting. one moment it is tiny, the next small and later maybe 12 inches. I believe I saved its life but I woke up before I knew for sure.

even my bones have begun to disappear

Even my bones, have begun to disappear

Riding the waves, until the stones of the shore

Illuminated

Neglect the sun, rising in the east

I don't want to be a Robot... with Metal Eyes and a Metal Heart

I am so glad the weekend is finaly here. I need the break. Been burning at both ends for too long. Maybe movies and beer. Maybe a nice bike ride, yoga, tai chi and chi gung. Just feel like I need to breath. Find some space. A quiet open place. perhaps with some chill in the air so I can just sit. I want some fog and rain and the smell of the earth. Tendrils draping the surrounding mountains. Mist thickened night.

finding meaning beyond simple description

Oh the joys of inventory preparation... Sept 29th is the day. Guess I will just have to take Monday off, rest up, gain my strenth... Oh wait, thats what weekends are for. Good thing I will be extending mine. And yes, I am feeling a little thirsty.

A more vulnerable search for truth

Some friends are making a movie.
Watch the trailer?
BLUE BALLOONS

the sheet your children sleep on

The joys of leaky faucets can be fixed typically by new valve seats and stems...
The joys of trying to be like my brother Chris and trying to figure out a way to hide a beer in here is much more complex...

She used to sing in the language of angels

Angels are spirits, but it is not because they are spirits that they are angels. They become angels when they are sent. For the name angel refers to their office, not their nature. You ask the name of this nature, it is spirit; you ask its office, it is that of an Angel, which is a messenger. -- St. Augustine

_______

The bell waits in silence

Well, it would appear that the hectic weekend is finally over. Been running since wednesday night when I went to Richland, up til 4:30, up again at 9:00. Thurs: Sat in holding pattern organizing/talking about things. then mad rush to Tux, Tan, Laundry, Tie, Haircut, out decorating til 8. Dinner, Beer just one. Friday: Wedding 12-1, Reception 1-3, Back to S-town 4:30-6:30. Clean, Sat: clean, organize second reception. Sun: Clean, Set up back yard, prep food with Mom and Dad. Party 1-4:30. Clean. Sleep on couch. NowI am back at work and I need a break...


Thank You to all for their time, help & support.

A blessing

This is a copy of the blessing I will be giving at the second reception.

God our father,
your breath gives life to the world,

we hear your voice in the wind
and in the quiet of our hearts,

Bless my children
with your strength and wisdom.


Give them eyes to behold the sunset.
And allow them to walk in your beauty.

Grant them wisdom to understand
the lessons you teach us in difficulty and in joy.


Make them always ready to come to you
Not as two separate
But as one life joined


Bless their journey
Sheltered by you.

Youre an angel. I'm gonna cry.

THE BRIDE

THE RINGS

THE KISS

TITLE ON RAYMOND

I LIKE CAKE!

DADDYS GIRL

FATHER OF THE BRIDE

SISTERS

JUST A LITTLE FUN

NEW FAMILY

a fervent procession toward redemption

Well, Raelynns wedding is friday.
I trully hope for the best.
My baby is a woman.
I promise I will try to not go all daddy on her.
Well, I gotta go. I leave town tonight...
Missing the Rocky Votolato show tonight.
Missing Bright Eyes saturday night.
but there is after all only one wedding.
and it holds priority!

Sitis, sold her hair to Satan in exchange for food and money

I do deserve a beer...
I guess the question that should be asked is when and where?

Hell among the yearlings

So, this weekend a friend of mine was in town and we watched movies and drank beer till late on Friday. Weird thing was, at about 3:30am I hear my bedroom door open and the shuffle of feet on the carpet... I am half expecting a practical joke like a sharpie mustache or some other crap. Not being in the mood for foolishness and thinking that maybe, just maybe there is a need for asprin or something and no knowledge of where the hell it is. I figure I will just see what the hell is going on. So I ask "what do you need?" A response comes back, "I dont need anything". I continue with "Then what the hell are you doing?" at which point the sleeper awakes and responds with "I um Well I uh aparently I'm in the wrong place." pretty funny if you think about it. A Damn sleepwalker. Thankfully no one tried to spoon me...

Ballad of the doomed poet with a silly hat

So, I am just sitting here trying to think of something witty or smart or thought provoking to say. Some fascinating tidbit for the coming weekend, but somehow I have nothing. I am sure its not that I don’t have something sinking down into me. It is just that I don’t know what it is. Sort of like “Sinking stones in the sea”. You know they will eventually have some sort of effect you just don’t know the what, when or even the eventual location of whatever is going on. This is the place that I am. Sinking, I am just sinking. I don’t mean that in a bad way. It is not a bad place to be. At least at this point it would seem a bit more neutral. I am left with just the pensive and subtle disquiet of the impending unknown future.

Perhaps it is because of my daughter impending nuptials? Because somehow I feel stuck and need to forcibly make some change just to prove that I can and thereby show that I am still somehow in control of my life in some dramatic fashion? Or possibly the fact that while the world slides by, it would appear that mine just continues to fall apart while everyone else is just coming into their own?

. I did have a dream that I was at a tailor having a beautiful suit made. Odd enough I guess. It would seem at this point that I have just started to ramble so enough already, I will be off.

I hope you think of me, in moments when your happy

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The scarred and the dreaming

“Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafairing soul, if either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.”-Kahlil Gibran


I think it is time for a little solitude...

The Devils thieves have won

It would appear that Nick Cave has done it again...
Grinderman a new favorite.

Baby, won't you sell me just a little grace?

Well it is getting close to wedding time. At this point my hope is that the car will actually make it to the Tri Cities. Fun stuff. Man time flies.

a painful magic made of love and anguish.

My buddy Marty just gave me a couple of fresh crabs that he got on his trip... so dinner tonight should be nice. Looking forward to the inevitability of sore fingertips and probably a couple of sharp pokes. Whole crab is on the menu tonight regardless of the fact that there is perhaps percentage wise more work than meat. A nice bottle of Nobilo Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc 2006 should make the evening pleasant enough...

My uninvited traveling companions (shadows and demons)

Well, it looks like the results of the civil portion of my accident are finaly in... I'm screwed.
The medical portion is still pending.

Perhaps they will kiss me first.

Free from my past... free from my future too.

Just pushing, the darkness around

Watching the moon tonight. Even though I missed it. and yes I know it happened this morning...

Growling at the empties and cigarette butts

Well, it appears to be time to start the workout up again. Jim is upset because he gained 15 pounds. I am basicaly the same as when we stopped although I did start smoking again. So it would appear to be time to start reducing the beer consumption and the cigarettes again. Oh the joys, but it is good for me and makes a huge difference in how I feel. I think I miss the yoga and the stretching the most...

show me your ocean breadth... kiss the tears that stain my neck

The car is acting up again... I don't really have an answer as to what the hell it is. This time it died on the freeway and I barely managed to get off the road. So I guess everything is wonderful because I did get off the road. I did manage to get the car to start. I did get to a place I could park it and I did connect with a ride to Dale's bar-b-que. So all things said. The shit may not stop, but somehow I manage to press on anyway.

your a map of a place maybe someday I'll go...

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. ~William Dement

Some guardian in my empty room

Dream: Leaning against a hay bale in a dry dirty meadow reading a beat up paperback. It read like a biography written as poetry about addiction. It also had little pills, about an 1/8th of an inch long, glued to the page. It contained commentary on the 6 stages of addiction and talked about separating the "pros" from the "players" by "breaking out the straw". I was rudely interupted by three vintage cars driving seemingly anywhere and everywhere but the road. While looking more like the keystone cops than anything else, the first two cars bounce/race/ swerve their way past me piloted by two older women. Then came along the one with the ratty old European ( like the blind taxi driver in "Everything is Illuminated") looking dude in it. As it bounced by in front of me, a hay bale fell out of the overstuffed open trunk. Without even stoping, the old dude step falls out of the car and scampers his way back to gather up the hay bale. All the while the car continues to bounce and drive around by itself, although not very quickly. He grabs the bale with one hand and drags it along, while half running and half dancing a jig with odd looking foot flourishes. He continues to fall down / get up and tip his hat to me acting like it is some sort of show and he is playing for tips or something. I was trying to get back to the 6 stages when the alarm clock rang...

Autumn spirits descending

Just some silly pictures I have been playing with. I do happen to like the textures I am getting. Yes I know that there could be some judicious croping done but for now this is it.

Transclucent memories and the twisted struggle of subtle self medication

Currently debating a trip to bumbershoot 2007... 1,2 or 3 days? Platinum pass? Gas, Transport etc. The logistics may be to much for me but I guess it all boils down to, "who do I really want to see?"
Saturday possibles: The Shins, Gogol Bordello ( I love the gypsy 2 step feel), The Avett Brothers, Menomena and Yungchen Lhamo.
Sunday possibles: Kings of Leon, Andrew Bird, The Apples in stereo, Devendra Banhart and The Nick Drake words & music forum (Nicks compositions will be played, discussed, and recognized by John Wesley Harding, Ian Ball [of Gomez], Damien Jurado and others. Journalist and music historian Kurt B. Reighley will moderate.)
Monday possibles: Joss Stone, Kultur Shock, Allison Moorer and My Brightest Diamond.

That doesn't even include time for the art, the film festival or the inevitable daily trip to the "Portable Confessional Units". I haven't even decided if I am going to be able to go yet and I am sorting out day plans. Sick huh?

The beauty of mornings light

Well, it would seem that I am making some progress. I have begun shuffling the music topic stuff over to the 7soundhouse page. That is what it was intended for. Please accept my appologies because sometimes I get a little bleed over and I don't know if that will ever really stop. I will try to limit it to lyrics from here on out but sometimes it relates directly to my mood, emotional state or carrys the feeling of the space I am in at the time of the post. We will see how it goes.

Can't believe it is friday again already. Time is really moving on. Ha
Later

The consuming hunger of darkness

Last night I barbqued up a rib eye, had a nice ceasar salad, mashed potatoes and some oat nut bread. Topped it off with a couple 3 beers. The night was beautiful and comfortable. I had a nice night in general. Again the poor man eats like a prince. or something.

Excuse me while I break my heart

I believe I have finaly sorted out the stalling problem with the car... There are two hoses coming out the top of the pcv valve one is a vacuum hose that I believe goes to a pcrv (pressure conscious reducing valve) for the purpose of recuirculating crankcase gasses. It seems that when hot the hose collapses at the pcv valve, shutting of the vacuum and choking out the motor. I hope replacing this hose should fix the problem.

was Jerusalem builded here among these dark satanic mills?

The debate for today seems to be... do I go to the Pato Banton show tonight? (I already have a pair of tickets) Or take myself out to the movies? Say something like Stardust? Funny to me that I know I would absolutely love the reggae show. Pato is great. But somehow I feel I am just not in the mood. Not feelin the vibration mon'. Not in the right place so to speak. I think perhaps I need something more solitary or aloof, antisocial, cloistered, companionless, deserted, distant, hermitical, hidden, introverted, isolated, misanthropic, reclusive, secluded, separate, sequestered, standoffish, unaccompanied and or withdrawn

THERE AINT NO "LIKE IT IS"

last night, strange dreams are abound again...

#1 This time I was bitten three times on my left arm by what would presumably be the worlds smallest rattle snake before I cut it in half.

#2 I was looking for BCT to make a delivery (For some reason in a mall were cavanaughs is in the tri-villages) but kept running thru a fancy resturaunt/bar. On the counter was the largest bottle of beer I have ever seen. I kept thinking I know that brand but could never quite remember the name. Some sort of subconcious recognition. I would say the bottle would hold maybe 75 gallons. Yeah I know, too hard to tip to have a drink, but it was sitting on the bar like someone had ordered it.

The heart that struggles and chokes

On all the things it no longer knows.

Funny, this saturday at a little after six, I got really moody. The experience was not really like being sad or depressed but as I sat (playing Tetris) a overwelming feeling came over me. Very weird. I cant quite pin it down exactly, not quite loss, but more like missing something you gave away but should have kept? I dont know, not really sadness or remorse or regret. The strangest thing is that I can't quite put my finger on it. I had been planning on barbqueing a nice rib eye and having a bacon, prawns, Arugala and cherry tomato salad tossed with a dressing of balsamic e.v.o.o. pepper and yogurt, but I got so "whatevered" out that I ended up baking a pizza instead. Yeah I know I should have had the steak and salad but I no longer wanted to cook.
I am also quiting the smokes again and right now, I really want one. probably more for the boredom,the tactile sensation and the burning in the back of my mouth than for the nicotine...

Drinking to a painting in a cheap hotel

Handing out stones in the place where the white roses fell...

Last night I had a dream I assaulted someone while he slept. A group of us took turns. Mine, a cold hearted shot to the head with its sickening sound of bone and meat being hit by something heavy was the last one.
I don't recall if there was a reason. I do recall that later in the dream he (the unkown victim of our assault) asked me if I had and I said yes. It seemed like it was no big deal. Like he didn't really care and he showed no signs of being beaten.
Later, I woke up and while walking to get a glass of water I could swear I saw the silhouettes of dragons (the asian kind) floating around in the dark...

The awful sudden darkness lighted by flying sparks and the screams of the injured and dying...

Relatives! And somehow, I am the one who is weird?

Understated & Misunderstood

Recent scribbles

"Experience, which destroys innocence, also leads one back to it.”

The last time, you looked in my mirror...

Today, is apparently a day of memories. or at least of memories triggered by and or associated with specific smells. Defined by even. Like the smell of a newly opened pack of cigarettes transporting me back to a specific day when I was 16 or the delicious smell of gasoline taking me to the lake as a child; trolling, with my grandfather at the old outboard motor. Its funny, I can almost see iridescent shimmer of the oil still floating on the water.

Needless to say, this day is awash with memories.
Defined by memories.

My life as a b movie

I guess I feel like I have been allowing my multiple blogs to sort of bleed together. you know, music bleeding in over here, stuff bleeding out over there... I am not really sure if that makes a difference or not. I am currently debating combining them all or just seperating them again... maybe just take them down altogether since I don't really feel like I am saying anything. This could all just go in the journal. Am I just another person with a pointless unneeded point of view? Do I even have a point of view? Yeah, whatever, I dont know...

In honor of the moon

There's a communion wafer moon
Dissolving on the blue tongue of the sky

Sometimes the whole world is nothing
So much
As an altar inviting us
To kneel

-Linford Detweiler

You can find more "poem of the week" at the otr site.

Let this dark night be done

Life for me seems to be a circle. The end of one thing becomes a new thing or change is a simple form of death and birth that feels like marrying then divorcing both heaven and hell in an inexorable circle forever and ever amen. Life is death. Pain is a prelude to rebirth. I am inside out. Or maybe just upside down. But one the one thing I do know is this; I do not know which way up is.

It's o.k., you're my only ray of light on a cloudy day

Oh, the joy of walking out of a concert where you felt really good donating to a beneficial cause helping children and donating your evening listening to wonderful music (the highlight was Marshall Mclean) to find that your rear car window has been smashed out by some obnoxious vandal (who suprisingly, steals nothing)...

Oh the joy of realizing that, out of all the people walking up and down Spokane city streets at night, the only ones who stopped and asked if I was o.k., needed any help, a ride or if there was anything they could do was a couple. Funny, they just happened to be from that local "anarchist group" that got arrested for sitting in the park, post protest. I had a photo of him from the arrest but cant find it. Small, small world.

Current mood?

Listen and find out:

Simple Town

Chimeras

I can't get this creature out of my way; killing it, is not an option

I'm feeling a little random at the moment... perhaps the cd release party I am going to tonight will help with that but I doubt it. Kristen Marlo will be there as well as my buddy Matt Russell. Besides, its a benefit for the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursury.

So, have you ever wondered how inmates spend there time? Well here in the US of A they do fun stuff like lift weights. You know good man stuff. pondering this I found this video of a Philipino prison... ENJOY.

Beheading the broken, suicide of love

...forgiveness comes from spending years
of peddling the faulty wares
till finally you say "who cares
this seems to be my lot
I've gotten what I've got"
and i don't mean a perfect thing
is nowhere to be found
the rain is red and faultless
it is falling all around

-The Rain is Red- Diane Cluck

Majestic solitude, behold the tower

Some friends of mine are making a movie...

Light a candle

Ash and Cylina sing

Tribute

The memorial video

Bottle and a hotel

Things seem strange. It feels like something is going on. Something important. Something hidden from me. It pulls at the fringes of my awareness yet refuses to reveal itself. Makes me want to dissapear on the road for a while...

Please hand me the Oregano...

Life seems a little like an episopde of the B/W Twilight Zone at the moment. Like everything seems normal but you know its not. I feel like I have been waiting for someone to jump out and try to stab me in the face or cut my toe off or something... Got a strange puffy infection in the palm of my hand... I cut/dug it open with my knife. Cleaned the puss out. The next morning it was almost totaly healed. Not sore, not pink, not hot to the touch. As if it had been a week. you can barely tell it was there.
Yeah, I don't know.

Two birds, a dime, mint jelly and whiskey for everyone

Last night after getting two comp tickets, I went to see Buckwheat Zydeco. Man, let me tell you that man may be getting up there (he's 60) but he can still kick it up. He played the Hammond as well as the Accordion. The band rocked, floating back and forth between Blues, Zydeco, Cajun and Reggae. I thought the old white couple cutting a rug in front of me were about to break their collective hips. Everybody was singing along and dancing. from 6 months to 70's. Funny, I just wished the whole show was in somebodys backyard during a barbque with a whole lotta beer.

She passed thru

Being bound is a means of finding freedom

Well, I am going to back up a little bit and talk about the dinner I made Sunday because it was amazing...
I bar-b-qued shrimp and sea scallop kabobs, crab clusters and a flat iron steak marinated in teriyaki. I also had a green salad with drizzled with a 10 year old balsamic & blue cheese. Sliced tomatoes, onions and mozzarella with balsamic. Steamed heirloom fingerling red, purple and gold potatoes finished in a pan with butter and italian seasoning. Baked up a nice garlic bread. Topped it all off with a couple of nice Gouden Haven.
MMMM.
I suppose its all a bit extravagant for a single guy like me but its not like I had anything better to do on a lazy sunday evening and it sure as hell was good.

Chains as a metaphor

So I rode to work today on a bicycle...carried my lunch and a change of clothes in a backpack. 35 minutes total time. Takes 20 to drive, so apparently I made good time. I would like to know just how far it is exactly. Get this under my belt a few times and we will see if I can shave some time off or find a faster route...

Nothing is innocent now

"The Trumpet Child" streets on August 21st. This is their 9th amazing/beautiful record.
The record is wonderful. I listened to it all day today. Buy it.

Sin & Salvation

A man needs a maid-
Neil Young



My life is changing
in so many ways
I don't know who
to trust anymore
There's a shadow running
thru my days
Like a beggar going
from door to door.
I was thinking that
maybe I'd get a maid
Find a place nearby
for her to stay.
Just someone
to keep my house clean,
Fix my meals and go away.
A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.
It's hard to make that change
When life and love
turns strange.
And old.
To give a love,
you gotta live a love.
To live a love,
you gotta be "part of"
When will I see you again?
A while ago somewhere
I don't know when
I was watching
a movie with a friend.
I fell in love with the actress.
She was playing a part
that I could understand.
A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.
When will I see you again?

Is fat city next?

I have been a little worn out lately. With all the heat, a car that works except for when it (usually in the heat) sometimes doesn't (which means the last 2 weeks have been hell), 2 empty apartments, a faulty sprinkler system, lack of good sleep and a generaly mild malaise... on the upside I have been eating good food and drinking good beer. I even tried out the new ice cream shop. Very tasty. They have this mango sorbet...

Were no cars go

Apparently that is the state I seem to be living in. See, as my luck would have it, it took me four hours to drive home the other night with the car dying every 1/2 mile or so in 100 degree weather. Yet another blissful car issue... I will be replacing the ignition module and hoping that does the trick. If not, well then its on to fun stuff like the fuel pump, (located on top of the gas tank) fuel filter, and perhaps even the mass air flow sensor. But I really hope this does the trick.

Protesters of police brutality get bagged

Local area protesters got rounded up on the fourth of July while protesting police brutality. There has to be some sort of irony in this... They marched and gathered near the clock tower. But I actually believe it was the other parkgoers that provoked the whole confrontation calling them commies and such. The news called them "Anarchists" I think they are more likely just social activists. they don't want war and violence. Most are actually anti-gun vegitarians and put forth ideas like "food not bombs" etc. Funny how we think they are the "hooligans".

"Calmer than you. I'm calmer than you Dude. Calmer than you"-Walter Sobchek

There do seem to be a lot of "accidental deaths" recently at the hands of police. That is not to say that these gentlemen are gone wild but perhaps some are over the edge. that said accidents do happen. I don't believe "TASERS ARE BAD" just that their use is only needed in extreme cases.

http://www.spokesmanreview.com/sections/zehm/?ID=141635

The list of 2006 Taser-related deaths:
January 3, 2006: Roberto Gonzalez, 34, Waukegan, Illinois

January 13, 2006: Daryl Dwayne Kelley, 29, Houston, Texas

January 22, 2006: Nick Ryan Hanson, 24, Ashland, Oregon

January 25, 2006: Murray Bush, Metairie, Louisiana

January 27, 2006: Jorge Luis Trujillo, San Jose, California

January 28, 2006: Karl W. Marshall, 32, Kansas City, Missouri

January 31, 2006: Jaime Coronel, Castroville, California

February 13, 2006: Darval Smith, New Orleans, Louisiana

February 19, 2006: Gary Bartley, 36, Mandeville, Louisiana

February 24, 2006: Samuel Hair, 48, Fort Pierce, Florida

March 4, 2006: Melvin Anthony Jordan, 27, Norman, Oklahoma

March 8, 2006: Robert R. Hamilton, 42, St. Augustine, Florida

March 18, 2006: Otto Zehm, 35, Spokane, Washington

March 20, 2006: Timothy Grant, 46, Portland, Oregon

March 24, 2006: Theodore Rosenberry, 35, Hagerstown, Maryland

April 5, 2006: Thomas Clint Tipton, 34, Clearwater, Florida

April 15, 2006: Nick Mamino Jr., 41, St. Louis, Missouri

April 16, 2006: Billy Ray Cook, 39, Dublin, North Carolina

April 16, 2006: Juan Manuel Nunez III, 27, Lubbock, Texas

April 21, 2006: Alvin Itula, 35, Salt Lake City, Utah

April 24, 2006: Jose Romero, 23, Dallas, Texas

April 24, 2006: Emily Marie Delafield, 56, Green Cove Springs, Florida

May 1, 2006: Jeremy Davis, 24, Bellmead, Texas

May 7, 2006: Kenneth Cleveland, 63, Ashtabula, Ohio

May 25, 2006: Brian Davis, 43, Los Angeles, California

June 4, 2006: Felipe Herrera, 48, Las Vegas, Nevada

June 13, 2006: Jerry Preyer, 43, Pensacola, Florida

June 18, 2006: Jason Troy Dockery, 31, Coolville, Tennessee

June 21, 2006: Kenneth Eagleton, 43, Crosby, Texas

June 21, 2006: Joseph Stockdale, 26, Indianapolis, Indiana

July 7, 2006: Michael Deon Babers, 26, Shreveport, Louisiana

July 8, 2006: Christopher Tull, 36, Cincinnati, Ohio

July 9, 2006: Nickolos Cyrus, 29, Mukwonago, Wisconsin

Iphigene (Angel)

Trapped Beauty.

Don't become the thing you hated

Well, The "rae/y's" came up for the holiday. We looked at invitations although they don't know if they want to send any out. We had a good couple of days and some excellent food if I do say so myself. The fireworks at pavillion park were rather anti-climactic. A bit of a long wait for a let down. I mean the big finale was all of about 2-3 seconds and about 8 shells. The whole show was low in the sky behind the trees and just kind of a disapointment. but we tried to have a good time regardless. They will be leaving tonignt about 4 and driving in the heat of the day. ugh. since it is supposed to get to 105 today. I think they should drive in the cool of the evening but what the hell do I know.

What we learned in

Krung-dēvamahānagara amararatanakosindra mahindrayudhyā mahātilakabhava navaratanarājadhānī purīrāmasya utamarājanivēsana mahāsthāna amaravimāna avatārasthitya shakrasdattiya vishnukarmaprasiddhi, (Translates The city of angels, the great city, the eternal jewel city, the impregnable city of God Indra, the grand capital of the world endowed with nine precious gems, the happy city, abounding in an enormous Royal Palace that resembles the heavenly abode where reigns the reincarnated god, a city given by Indra and built by Vishnukam) Thailand and how we acted on it.

(1) Do not bend down and look between your legs. You will see a ghost.
(2) Do not sweep dirt out of the front entrance. It will make all your money go away.
(3) Do not sweep at night. It is bad luck.
(4) Do not clean the spider web at night. You will lose all your money.
(5) Do not open an umbrella in the house. It will make you bald.
(6) Do not eat candy that has dropped on the floor. It now belongs to the ghost.
(7) Do not put valuable things away at night. The ghost will see and steal it.
(8) Do not keep broken Buddha images in the house. It will cause your family to be separated.
(9) Do not tell other people about your bad dream when you are eating or it will come true.
(10) Do not rock an empty cradle. Your child will become sick.
(11) Do not throw anything onto the roof of the house. It is bad luck.
(12) Do not tap a kid on his head. It will make him a bed wetter.
(13) Do not enter a house through the window. Bad luck will come to that house.
(14) Do not allow wedding guests break any plates or glasses or the couple will separate.
(15) If you have a scratch, do not attend a cremation. It will make your scratch infected.

Lazy Sunday or Sailing

After swims and foods and beers, nothing beats lazy sunday sailing...

I've known you all my life

I'm off for the next 5 days.
Don't know if I'll be posting.
But I will be relaxing.
Got plans for a Que at Dale's
and plenty of hazelnut brown nectar...

"I've been"

Haunting this ghost
for far too long
drowning in Bourbon
drinking Holy Water
and
Praying for the mercy of the stars

The beauty of indeterminance or wrestling with mountains

First I must say I made this last night for dinner and it was not enough, so make extra because you will want more.
This recipe is designed to be flexed to your individual taste...

GRILLED SHRIMP WITH CILANTRO SALSA
bamboo skewers soaked to avoid burning.
2 lbs Shrimp

CILANTRO SALSA
1 cup washed and chopped cilantro leaves
2 cloves garlic peeled and lightly smashed
1 seeded veined and coarse chopped habanero
(or jalapeno, chipotle, crushed red pepper etc.
just try to use your favorite heat source.)
1 tbsp peeled and coarsly chopped ginger
1/4 cup olive oil
1-2 tbsp fresh squeezed lime juice.
salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients except the lime juice, salt and pepper in blender and pulse till well mixed.
For a thicker sauce add Lime juice and emulsify then salt and pepper to taste. This is great for basting on the grill. It should stay in place.
For a thinner "dipping sauce" stir in the lime juice until you reach the desired consistency. Salt and pepper to taste.

I like to heap these in a pile on a serving plate and drizzle with a little dipping sauce then get out of the way and just let people go for it. Get ready for smiles because this on is a winner.
Serve with a crisp seasonal summer beer and extra dipping sauce
Dont forget bowls for tails and napkins for hands and faces.

water eats light

Found an interesting brew this weekend. "HE'BREW: the chosen beer ORIGIN Pomegranate Ale" I found I rather liked it. perhaps a bit to much.

The other beer of the weekend was a Chateau Jiahu by dogfish head. It is based on 9000 year old preserved pottery jars found in the Neolithic villiage of Jiahu, in Henan province, Northern China, that when analized revealed a mixed fermented beverage of rice, honey and fruit was being produced. Reproduced today with rice flakes, Wildflower honey, Muscat grapes, barley malt, hawthorn fruit, and Chrysanthemum flowers. WOW, very yummy.

Tagzig Olmo Lung Ring

Om nga khunda mah
Jhata ram lyma mgto
Gondra tsa paha ti
Po gugulam gomayi
Longu yu nu tam!

Twice once I killed them

So, I got these free tickets to a concert last night... I went for something to do. Just to go out. Not really my thing but they (the band) were pretty good or maybe it was just the bourbon and sevens were good and the bass was loud. It just seemed very "college". If that makes sense. Lots of girls. I ended up with more beer on my legs than anything.

Wilderness

Shadows and sun

Dreaming again... This time, I noticed a snow leopard cub running around. I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and with a shocked look on his face he said "you can see me?" all I could think about was "You can talk!?" we ended up having a brief conversation stopped short by my waking.

"Before they told me I could not fly I had wings and touched the sky"

The brilliantly difficult work of cult filmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky is now available for the masses. I found this boxed set the other day and knew I had to have it.

Alejandro Jodorowsky born February 7, 1929, in Chile, and has achieved fame/notoriety/cult status as a director for EL TOPO (the mole) and THE HOLY MOUNTAIN. He is also a playwright, composer, mime, comics author and lately a psychotherapist focusing on Psychomagic, a blend of eastern philosophy and mysticism using symbolic acts to heal old emotional conflicts.
His heritage is as confusing/complex as his films. His parents were Ashkenazi Jews (Jews of medieval German descent) of Russian origin. He became a Mexican citizen in 1973 and a French citizen at some later point.



Known for his heavy symbolism his films are a mix of powerful imagery at times mystical, nonsensical, violent, brutal, beautiful, sexual, sad and disturbing.
AND NOW TO THE MOVIES:



La Cravate (1957)
A commentary on soul hiding inside a head swapping story told in mime.
Considered lost for years then apparently found in an attic. The film has been beautifuly restored, I absolutely loved the color. Having never seen it before, I found it light hearted and whimsical if there is such a thing for Mr. Jodorowsky.

Fando y Lis (1967)
The symbolic journey of Fando and his paraplegic girlfriend Lis to the fabled city of Tar caused a riot in Aculpulco and was banned in Mexico by the government. Left me with a feeling of dissatisfaction, searching and abandonment.




El Topo (1970)
The infamous mystical nonwestern brought to the U.S. by John Lennon, Yoko Ono and Allen Klein. A vivid and violence filled spiritual journey told in two parts that I feel form a circle and we begin again at the end.



The Holy Mountain (1973)
Financed in its entirety by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Hidden inside all sorts of spiritual imagery is I believe a statement about the trappings of enlightenment being a falsehood and real Illumination is reality and nothing like we expect.


The following are not in the set but I hope to aqcuire/see soon
Tusk (1978)
Santa Sangre (1989)
The Rainbow Thief (1990)
King Shot (TBA)

My first breath as upward, the sparks fly

Take it out. Watch it die.

Is deconstructing the same as taking apart?

Hem - The Part Where You Let Go
(Gary Maurer/Dan Messe)

When the rain breaks the road
Are you holding on
Are you holding on
To your last good day

When the stone breaks the wheel
Are you holding on
Are you holding on
Til the stone rolls away

And I don't know
Is this the part where you let go
And tumbling out of a window
Is this the part where you find out
I'm there for you

When the sun leaves the field
Are you holding on
Are you holding on
To the last sweet light

When the flame leaves your eyes
I still see you there
I still see you there
On your darkest night

And I don't know
Is this the part where you let go
And sinking under a shadow
Is this the part where you find out
I'm there for you now

As your hand's breaking free
I am holding on
I am holding on
As you've held on to me

And I don't know
Is this the part where we let go
Tumbling out of a window
Is this the part you're there for me

And I don't know
Is this the part where you let go
And sinking under a shadow
Is this the part where you find out
I'm there for you You find out
I'm there for you You find out
I'm there for you

The prophets make it difficult

Funny I can't seem to shake this feeling of disenchantment and minor irritation. Makes me want to listen to Gregory And The Hawk.

Small Hope, Quiet Violence

This weekend was pretty much consumed with graduation and birthday parties. Both John & Brandy Graduated and Ethan turned 1 on the 7th so his party was this weekend as well. I ate too much and didn't really cook at all Saturday or Sunday. At least the food was good. Bar-b-que burgers and snacky kind of stuff. I think I ate more shrimp then ever before in my life.

To The Heart Of A Vulture On The Back Of The Sun

I am finding myself much distressed by the lack of satisfactory record stores in my current location. There is after all such a huge volume of music in the world and I find that I enjoy the kind that is hard for me to walk in and purchase. I am currently trying to find anything by The Anomoanon, Blonde Redhead, The Left Banke, Os Mutantes, Manta Ray, Shout Out Louds, Lilys, White Denim, Chantigs, Company, Mansfield Tya, Beirut, Mi and Lau, Cannanes, Odd Nosdam, Psycic Ills, New Young Pony Club, Papercuts, Minus Story, or the new records by Okkervil River, Lightning Dust, Spokane, Minus story, Odowas, Julie Doiron, Swan Lake, Alex Delivery or The Besnard Lakes just to name a few but I am not having any luck. I dont really believe these records are that far out there.
Perhaps I need to just get over my desire to walk in and purchase something and learn to order things but I would think that I could find at least one of them somewhere.
Pretty much the story of my listening life.

No Ocean Left To Drown a Man Like Me.

Alexandra Leaving - Leonard Cohen.

Suddenly the night has grown colder.
The god of love preparing to depart.
Alexandra hoisted on his shoulder,
They slip between the sentries of the heart.

Upheld by the simplicities of pleasure,
They gain the light, they formlessly entwine;
And radiant beyond your widest measure
They fall among the voices and the wine.

It’s not a trick, your senses all deceiving,
A fitful dream, the morning will exhaust –
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for this to happen,
Go firmly to the window. Drink it in.
Exquisite music. Alexandra laughing.
Your firm commitments tangible again.

And you who had the honor of her evening,
And by the honor had your own restored –
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving;
Alexandra leaving with her lord.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for the occasion;
In full command of every plan you wrecked –
Do not choose a coward’s explanation
that hides behind the cause and the effect.

And you who were bewildered by a meaning;
Whose code was broken, crucifix uncrossed –
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Don't forget your gun

Monkey Knifefight

You have a right to be here

Basic Crepe Recipe:

1.5 cups whole milk

3 large eggs

3 tablespoons sugar

1 teaspoon salt

5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

1/2 cup brandy (NO MISTAKES THIS TIME)

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup all purpose flour



Blend milk and eggs in blender until foamy, about ten seconds. Switch blender to low speed and add add sugar and salt. Blend on high again for a few seconds...In the same manner add butter, brandy, and vanilla, blending on high for a few seconds after each addition. Then add flour all at once and blend until just combined.Then cook!

Apparently this recipe has been published with a mysterious missing ingredient...

Sleeper, lost in dreams

dream yoga

If assholes could fly this place would be an airport.

The sound of the waves crashing upon the rocks beneath the cliffs that I run upon is little consolation to the dread I feel.

Wrapped tight and constricted I find I am clawing my way out of a straightjacket. Not the kind I want, which fits nicely and is some strange attempt at a fashion statement that somehow falls just short. Rather the kind that is designed to restict and bind. To prevent you from acheiving your goals.

I am aware that I should be able to fly but somehow, I just cant make it work.
I awake to "In Dreams" by Destroyer.

The suffering of time inexorably goes on...

Well, this weekends food was most wonderful. Saturday was garlic herb marinated steaks with grilled corn and german potato salad. Sunday was an excellent Cajun bar-b-que salmon with red potatoes, onions, carrots, asparagus and whole cloves of garlic coated with olive oil and italian seasoning then roasted/grilled on the bar-b-que. Yum

silver fish who's your master?

She,

hearing another sound,

turns away.

Blue Quiet Ascendence

stolen from my brothers site.

With Twice As Much to Do, The Devil Has Two Thumbs

Hello again, funny I seem to be internalizing everything at the moment... that is where I have been lately.
So, in an attempt to get back into the swing of things, here goes.
Healing up pretty good from the accident.
This Saturday I had lunch at the Elk (pulled pork tacos with a mango sauce and fresh cilantro -delicious), hung out with friends and went for a walk at manito park. All in all a good day.
Sunday was lazy. I watched "Pans Labrinth". I enjoyed it so much I watched it again within the hour.
I've been cooking alot lately.
everything from chipotle pork chops to beer can chicken to lime grilled bbq corn on the cob and grilled asparagus with crushed red pepper.
todays lunch was mixed greens with coffee glazed walnuts, apples, blue cheese and a delightfully spicy chipotle vinagrette.

Researching Moxibustion at the moment since I am not allowed by law to buy accupuncture needles...

Oh and listening to a lot of the Cramps
Bend over I'll drive...

Yes, I do believe I am...

a history in rust.

I float like dry peeled tangerine skin
On salty sea blankets now seeping in
Sinking blue ink saturating my veins
swaying heavy down my bones
lifting up my magnolia ghost
hollow moon echoes
resonance spider's entwining steps
leading me into amber-glassed sahara dunes
dissipating
in silver swirling ashes sandmen's breath
beyond the showering sky and beetle's death

-Brianna Lamar

If I'm drowning

"Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky
You were caught in the cross fire of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze
Come on you target for far away laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!"

Shine on you crazy diamond

zephaniah, sell your prophecy

There was apparently a prophecy about me when I was young... sometimes I just wish it would happen/come true etc. In some ways I am tired of waiting. I am tired of hoping. I am tired of this bottom of the bucket existence. I am tired of not having things. I am tired of just getting by. I am tired of all of it. I need something good to happen and soon. I expect something good to happen soon. To tired to make it happen.

Recently acquired

Art by ksmithey


Love returns home

On a flight of fancy

Spike drive my stars, Spike drive my scars...

feeling a need to push for the friday illustration of citrus

Wikipedia on CITRUS:

Citrus is a common term and genus of flowering plants in the family Rutaceae, originating in tropical and subtropical southeast Asia. The plants are large shrubs or small trees, reaching 5–15 m tall, with spiny shoots and alternately arranged evergreen leaves with an entire margin. The flowers are solitary or in small corymbs, each flower 2–4 cm diameter, with five (rarely four) white petals and numerous stamens; they are often very strongly scented. The fruit is a hesperidium, a specialised berry, globose to elongated, 4–30 cm long and 4–20 cm diameter, with a leathery rind surrounding segments or “liths” filled with pulp vesicles. The genus is commercially important as many species are cultivated for their fruit, which is eaten fresh or pressed for juice.

Citrus fruits are notable for their fragrance, partly due to flavonoids and limonoids (which in turn are terpenes) contained in the rind, and most are juice-laden. The juice contains a high quantity of citric acid giving them their characteristic sharp flavour. They are also good sources of vitamin C and flavonoids.

Inspiration failing. need to bust out the D.S. cats and create something new.

I beat a man once because I seen her cry

Recipe: Peach gelato

Total time: 20 minutes, plus 2 1/2 hours freezing time

Servings: 6 to 8

Note:From Sicilian chef Ciccio Sultano, singled out by Gambero Rosso as one of Italy's great young chefs, he cooked at Valentino as part of their 30th anniversary celebration in 2003 I believe. The peach flavor is amazing. The texture should be somewhere between soft-serve ice cream and dense, chewy gelato. Depending on the sweetness of your peaches, you may want to add more sugar.

3 pounds peaches, peeled and pitted

1/4cup sugar, or more, to taste

1/2 cup mascarpone, crème fraîche or yogurt

1. Cut the peaches into very small pieces. The smaller you cut them, the faster they will freeze and the finer the final texture will be. Arrange the peach pieces in a single layer on a rimmed cookie sheet and freeze solid, about 2 hours.

2. Put the frozen peach pieces in a food processor with the sugar and grind briefly. Add the mascarpone and pulse until the mixture is smooth.

3. Empty the food processor into a small container and freeze again, 20 to 30 minutes, before serving. If the ice cream freezes solid, simply process it briefly again before serving.

Yonder sky that has wept tears of compassion on our fathers for centuries untold, and which, to us, looks eternal, may change.

Today it is fair, tomorrow it may be overcast with clouds.
-Sealth

Thinking about things like compassion/forgivness lately. And the idea that perhaps I have held to tightly to my pain while using it to define myself as one of the major things in my life. And the fact that it has cost me, my children and those around me regardless of my intentions. It has come to be the one thing I know. I am not sure I like that. I don't know how to do anything else. I know it is a mechanism I use to protect myself. But knowing it and changing it are two very different things.

Teeth of lions, rule the divine

I finaly got my Daniel Smith catalogs in the mail.
Let the temptation begin.

I'm turning tricks, I'm getting fix

Haunted

Yumm!

www.toothpastefordinner.com

So cute I wish I liked adult cats

momento mori

http://www.legacy.com/tricityherald/DeathNotices.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=87939215

in the jaws of the lion

that's were the lamb lies down

Indifference, Death and a taste for Gin: or the chain on your heart and the mouth of a serpent

How funny yet sad it is that it takes someones death to force us to realize how much we still care for someone. Even after that person has wounded us to our very core and chosen to live a different life than the one we had intended.

Trissa,
In the end, the fact that you died in your sleep of natural causes is more than we could have hoped/asked for..

I pray you've found some sort of peace.

Adolescent in my wish as well as my disappointment...

Trissa died this morning. I found out from my father because I missed Ashley’s call. Funny, after everything, I found out the hard way that I still cared about this woman. I was pretty sure I had removed every last little bit of that but apparently I was wrong. Her death and this realization threw me for a bit of a loop and kind of knocked me down a peg of two.

Sadly I never saw a time when she was able be a mother to my children again.

Rumor had it she was clean for about a month. Apparently she was on oxygen because after all she did to herself, her lungs just couldn’t keep up. My hope is that her body just got too tired to go on, that it was not an over dose.

I never really saw her suffering. I don't know what kept eating at her. Was she punishing her self? Was she trying to escape? I will never really know. I do know it effected every one around her. I hope she found some sort of peace.

I am so full of mixed emotions. Mad at her for doing this to herself, Ashley, Raelynn and I, not to mention her parents and other family. Relieved, that the back and forth swing is finally over. Sad that it had to end this way. God damn it, she was the mother of my children. She should have cared for them instead of stealing from them. No matter how bad she had to feed the junkie.

Ashley was a mess on the phone acting strong. Raelynn sounded fine, probably the influence of Ray her fiancé, holding her together.

What a fine mess we find ourselves in.