Friday, April 06, 2007

I used to have one of those but she changed her mind




"Then they followed Where the vision led,
And saw their sleeping child Among tigers wild."
-William Blake

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... is this an artistic fuck you? I think it just might be.
Did I change my mind or was it changed for me?

Fallen said...

No, it is not an artistic fuck you. Please allow me to explain.

The title is a line from the movie "dead man" by Jim Jarmusch, who happens to be one of my favorite directors.
Johnny Depp(one of my favorite actors) plays an accountant named William Blake who says the line to Crispin Hellion Glover (another favorite if you recall I have three of his books)who is an engineer on a train at the begining of Mr. Blakes journey to death.
I recall it as his first statement of loss.
The train takes him to Machine where he finds he does not have the job he was promised.
With no job and little money he goes to the saloon and meets a beautiful girl.
A man, busts in an shoots at Blake but the beautiful girl jumps in front and takes the bullet.
The bullet goes all the way thru her and into Blake where it lodges next to his heart.
Even wounded Blake kills the man and the death journey is off and running.
A native american named Nobody befriends him and helps lead him on the path that eventually takes him to the pacific northwest and a canoe onto the ocean.

I relate to Depps portrayal of confusion,alienation and inability to grasp the things going on around him. I relate to his loss, his confused journey and his uncanny ability to survive while dying the whole time.

Nobody (the indian) confuses Blake with William Blake (November 28, 1757 – August 12, 1827) the English poet, visionary, painter, and printmaker. Who also happens to be a favorite of mine and has been since I was a child.

I guess the point I am getting at is the movie portrays "defining moments" in a caracters life, and his journey to death.
The image I attached portrays a "defining moment" in my life. Good or bad, right or wrong, no longer really matter. I have to live with it or thru it if you prefer. It is about the journey. I cannot hide from it. It is a painting I look at everyday. Some days its no big deal and others it kills me but it is something I have chosen to remember regardless of the fact that sometimes it makes me feel like shit.

It is important to me that I remember.

Did you change your mind or was it changed for you? Honestly?

Sadly I think it was a lot a bit of both.

I believe we are both culpable in that.

Fallen said...

If I recall correctly the quote at the end is from "Little Girl Lost" or "Little Girl Found" from "Songs of Innocence and Experience".